here i is
it has been an interesting summer. i am not going to go into detail about it but rather give a summary as i remember it and highlight those incidents that merit it.
july was my reckoning with meth, or so i thought. if you include the piss i drank on the 4th, which i'm not sure about doing, but i did get a good buzz from it a couple hours later, i used 3 weekends in a row. had fun, met some really cool guys, but i was really beat down after that, or felt like i was and resolved to get a handle on it. i attended 2 twelve step meetings (cma) the week after i made this resolution. they were interesting, but i felt not quite comfortable. i didn't give it enough time or effort though, and my dedication to the whole process was uncertain at best. i did stay clean for the rest of the month and then hung out with a friend who was partying. i knew he was partying, but i felt i could restrain myself. i did restrain myself, for almost 12 hours, although it must be said that i was freaking out thinking about him partying when he had gone into another room with a friend and as he would take a hit i looked at him like a hungry dog looks at a man eating a steak. then we were on the couch, i was about ready to leave and he was taking a hit and i was looking at him with my sad soulful eyes and he leaned in and shotgunned some smoke into my mouth. that was all it took and i was awake and partying for the next 7 hours until i needed to leave to get ready for the family gathering i was going to later that day. i have since decided to try to make an effort to just use it when i have a couple days off ahead of me and no commitments. i hope that works because i enjoy it quite a bit but i do not want to quit as much as use it so that i can still do the other things in my life. we will see how that goes.
the studio took longer to open than i thought and i haven't been to many sexclubs this summer. i went to mirage once and had a good time; even though i had been partying i noticed that the bathroom floors much dirtier than i had hoped they would be (see ‘meth equals death...’ posting of 4/24 for an explanation). i got fucked by a couple of hot asian guys, one of whom really got off on spit and piss. he would piss in my mouth and then we would make out swapping the piss back and forth. we hooked up again and it wasn’t quite the same, maybe because i hadn’t been partying or maybe because of the change of venue, the half sized bathtub in my apartment.
i have met some great guys online and hooked up and had a great time, mainly from bnskin and manhunt.
july was my reckoning with meth, or so i thought. if you include the piss i drank on the 4th, which i'm not sure about doing, but i did get a good buzz from it a couple hours later, i used 3 weekends in a row. had fun, met some really cool guys, but i was really beat down after that, or felt like i was and resolved to get a handle on it. i attended 2 twelve step meetings (cma) the week after i made this resolution. they were interesting, but i felt not quite comfortable. i didn't give it enough time or effort though, and my dedication to the whole process was uncertain at best. i did stay clean for the rest of the month and then hung out with a friend who was partying. i knew he was partying, but i felt i could restrain myself. i did restrain myself, for almost 12 hours, although it must be said that i was freaking out thinking about him partying when he had gone into another room with a friend and as he would take a hit i looked at him like a hungry dog looks at a man eating a steak. then we were on the couch, i was about ready to leave and he was taking a hit and i was looking at him with my sad soulful eyes and he leaned in and shotgunned some smoke into my mouth. that was all it took and i was awake and partying for the next 7 hours until i needed to leave to get ready for the family gathering i was going to later that day. i have since decided to try to make an effort to just use it when i have a couple days off ahead of me and no commitments. i hope that works because i enjoy it quite a bit but i do not want to quit as much as use it so that i can still do the other things in my life. we will see how that goes.
the studio took longer to open than i thought and i haven't been to many sexclubs this summer. i went to mirage once and had a good time; even though i had been partying i noticed that the bathroom floors much dirtier than i had hoped they would be (see ‘meth equals death...’ posting of 4/24 for an explanation). i got fucked by a couple of hot asian guys, one of whom really got off on spit and piss. he would piss in my mouth and then we would make out swapping the piss back and forth. we hooked up again and it wasn’t quite the same, maybe because i hadn’t been partying or maybe because of the change of venue, the half sized bathtub in my apartment.
i have met some great guys online and hooked up and had a great time, mainly from bnskin and manhunt.
posted by cosmaz at 9:56 AM
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