what really matters

i was in jersey the last couple of days, providing support to my mother during and after my father's surgery. i was a good son and spent almost all of my time with my mother, visiting my father and staying with her at home. all of this family contact was more than i was accustomed to; i love them dearly, but can only take so much at one time. i was going nuts and in need of relief so i took friday afternoon off.

i went to woodbridge mall, my old cruising grounds; so many wonderful memories. it was the middle of the afternoon so i wasn't expecting much (ok, maybe the thought of a horny hs senior, junior, freshman? off from school early did cross my mind) and i wasn't disappointed. a guy followed me from store to store, or at least we often ended up in the same restrooms, but i wasn't really interested. he was in his 40's or early 50's i would guess, salt/pepper (brown pepper) hair that looked like a short mullet if i am remembering correctly, stocky, wearing sweats, sneakers and a yellow sweat top. i vaguely recalled seeing him before, but couldn't remember if we had done anything. there was something about him that i liked, maybe his smirky smile, but not what i had in mind. however, when we ended up together again in the basement men's room of sears i figured: why the fuck not? he watched me over the stall, balanced on the seat of the toilet, and i jerked off. he asked if i wanted to get sucked and i told him i preferred to suck, he passed me a bottle of poppers and i took a hit. someone came in, he got down off the toilet and i, standing in the handicapped stall, flushed (not the toilet, me) and head swimming from the poppers, was reconsidering the whole thing. ‘what am i doing?’ i thought, this is not where i want to be. after the intruder left the guy got down on the tile floor and started jerking his somewhat small and flaccid cock, i reached under and played with it; it didn't seem get much bigger. he slid his legs and cock further under the stall and i figured, well he wants to oblige me by getting sucked so i should at least make an effort; my heart, however, was not into it. i slid between his legs and saw those little meatballs (those little deflated globes of skin that some people have on their bodies and look to me like meatballs) and had even more second thoughts, but i went down on him anyway. i kept going though and i soon smelled the perfume of stale piss as i buried my nose in his pubes. i was really turned on. i figured: what the hell, all i really need is a cock to suck on and he definitely has one of those so we are good. i thought we were good, but when someone else came in he got up and left and i was left dismayed and horny. i went back to macy*s upstairs bathroom and went into the handicapped stall, the other stall was occupied. i jerked off sitting sideways on the toilet to face my hoped for admirer in the other stall with my pants around my ankles and legs spread wide. i saw the white of his eye through the little peephole someone had created for our benefit. his hand motioned for me to slide over, but that was not what i was looking for so i just kept playing with myself, he asked if i wanted to get sucked and i told him i preferred to suck. he rose, turned and squatted close to the floor, i never saw his face but he had a big fat cock, which was warm and soft to the touch. as played with his dick he lowered his knees on to the floor i saw that he was a big guy, and not just his cock, but his cock was all i really cared about so i went down on him and started sucking that beautiful piece of meat he was carrying. it was a mouthful, but i did my best and his moans made me hopeful that i would get at least one load that day. footsteps coming down the hall sent us back to our seats: one guy came in and took a piss and left, but another guy came in and was not leaving, he wasn’t peeking into the stalls either so it was a good bet that he wasn’t cruising. after waiting for him to leave, and him not leaving, i made my way out, leaving another load in a not better place than my belly. the guy waiting was fooling around with his cell phone and it occurs to me as i write this that in earlier days men would have less patience when waiting in the bathroom because they had nothing to do while waiting. now with cells and other personal electronic devices they can occupy their time endlessly. it could just be that it has been so long since i cruised the mall toilets that i am out of practice, i used know how to handle that situation. either way, those two cocks and all i went through to get to them were what i needed to see me through the rest of my time with my much loved family.