20 minutes

i have a theory as to why there are so many guys fucking raw these days. the time it takes to get the results from an hiv antibody test has been reduced from 2 weeks, which was the waiting period when i first started getting tested in the late 80's, down to 20 minutes. this drastic reduction in waiting time leaves the waiter with very little time to dwell upon the consequences or dangers or foolishness of what he has done. no worries about every flu-like symptom, it's only 20 minutes. no deals with god or goddess about foolish choices and resolutions to change, it's only 20 minutes. no constant rehashing of every risky move made over the past 3, 6 or 12 months, because you are only waiting 20 minutes. the last time i was tested was at the nyu vaccine trial center at bellevue. i was still nervous, and i think it would have been nice had one of the study nurses hung out in the room while i was waiting, but 20 minutes isn't a long time at all, even when you are waiting for possibly life changing test results. i sat and chanted a little nonsense song about not being nervous and in a short time the results were in: neg again, whoo-hoo! i can't remember, but i wouldn't be surprised if i stopped at an adult bookstore to fool around a bit, right after i left the hospital. that never would have happened if i'd had two weeks to think about things. (actually, i am not completely certain that last statement is correct, but i know i wouldn’t have done it in the 80’s when i had to wait two weeks for results. a drastic change has occurred in me as well as in the waiting period.)

i don't really imagine that this is the reason for guys going bare; there are a lot better reasons than this one. though, i would be surprised if this shortening of the waiting period for results hasn't had some effect on people's behavior.

as far as my recovery goes, it is monday, or tuesday morning more accurately, and i am feeling better. i went out with a friend tonight and that may have helped also. i just saw my party guy on yahoo im and sent him a 'hi' to which he did not respond. he was idle though. regardless, i am feeling better and evidently still open to the possibility of feeling wildly better for a short while and then much worse for a week or more.