firsts
smoked crystal for the first time yesterday. i have to say i find it much more comfortable or easy than snorting. i met the same guy who introduced me to snorting crystal. we hung out and he asked how i wanted to party, i told him however he wanted and out came the pipe and the flashy lighter. i really didn't get fucked the way i expected to, in fact, i didn't get fucked at all. i did do some fucking though, possibly due to my other first of the night, viagra, because my friend wanted me to take it.
i ended up at the west side club this morning and found it to be fairly disappointing in terms of action, (extra, extra, sex club is not crowded at 7:00 on a monday morning). i didn't really mind that much. i just lay there on the bed jerking my cock and playing with my nipples, and drinking lots of water. i had to be at work at 10 and as 8:30 rolled around i started asking myself why didn't i just leave? the only item in the 'con' column was that i felt good doing what i was doing. lots of pro arguments for leaving (5) so, after fucking this guy who had been partying much more than i had one more time, (it was kind of disturbing how his tongue kept coming out of his mouth, probably cause it was so dry) i ended up leaving a little before nine.
i did make it to work on time, which i was happy with and i did a fair days work, which i was also happy with. i think i was happy about these things because at least i didn't miss work due to drug use, a sure sign of addiction in the movies, tv shows and commercials. i guess going into work high may be a sign of addiction also, but in this case i will say it is nothing of the sort. my head felt like it was full of cotton for a good portion of the morning. my stomach felt and continues to feel a little queasy. and my mouth is still dry, and my tongue bothers me, probably because i've been flicking it on my upper teeth so much to get some moisture into my mouth. all in all i feel like crap. what that means in regards to my future drug use is anyone's guess. i was thinking as i was walking home today that this is a crappy feeling that one could get used to, not in terms of it being enjoyable, but in that it is manageable, at least it seems to be. that does not mean, of course, that i want to manage it.
i ended up at the west side club this morning and found it to be fairly disappointing in terms of action, (extra, extra, sex club is not crowded at 7:00 on a monday morning). i didn't really mind that much. i just lay there on the bed jerking my cock and playing with my nipples, and drinking lots of water. i had to be at work at 10 and as 8:30 rolled around i started asking myself why didn't i just leave? the only item in the 'con' column was that i felt good doing what i was doing. lots of pro arguments for leaving (5) so, after fucking this guy who had been partying much more than i had one more time, (it was kind of disturbing how his tongue kept coming out of his mouth, probably cause it was so dry) i ended up leaving a little before nine.
i did make it to work on time, which i was happy with and i did a fair days work, which i was also happy with. i think i was happy about these things because at least i didn't miss work due to drug use, a sure sign of addiction in the movies, tv shows and commercials. i guess going into work high may be a sign of addiction also, but in this case i will say it is nothing of the sort. my head felt like it was full of cotton for a good portion of the morning. my stomach felt and continues to feel a little queasy. and my mouth is still dry, and my tongue bothers me, probably because i've been flicking it on my upper teeth so much to get some moisture into my mouth. all in all i feel like crap. what that means in regards to my future drug use is anyone's guess. i was thinking as i was walking home today that this is a crappy feeling that one could get used to, not in terms of it being enjoyable, but in that it is manageable, at least it seems to be. that does not mean, of course, that i want to manage it.
posted by cosmaz at 6:13 PM
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