recovery continues
today is wednesday and i can't say that i feel 100 % myself again. a friend who does tina with some frequency, with whom i was chatting monday night, told me that eating was important. as the son of an italian mother i already knew that and had been doing my best to eat, throughout the day. he also told me that getting sleep was important also, that, while seemingly obvious, was a recommendation that i sorely needed. i did feel much better tuesday morning when i woke up. but even today i feel a little fuzzy in the head. and i have noticed my stomach muscles hurt when i laugh or cough, i wonder, considering i am not much of a sit-up guy, if when i was fucking on sunday/monday i strained something, or at the very least gave myself quite a workout.
luckily or un, i have the day off. a friend im'd me about bringing my scrumptious ass over to be fucked because it had been a while. i said i would get ready. this after i told myself this morning how at least this not 100 % feeling would keep me from getting into trouble this week, or at least today. already the idea has crept in that i should take my member cards to the studio and east/west side clubs, just in case. these three words are trouble for me, about the same as the phrase 'just to see what's going on' is. i am warning myself to not do anything stupid and telling myself to stay within my limits (already shot to hell because i'm going out to get fucked today), but we will see what happens.
time passes
well, i did bring my poppers and my sex club memberships, i did go get my scrumptious ass fucked (bare by my poz friend) and i did end up going back to the east side club.
i got to my friends place and we started making out. he asked if i wanted to use a condom and i said no. he was fucking me and said he told me i was going to make him cum, i asked him not yet. then he lay on his back and had me ride him, as i went to sit down i saw some cum leaking from his cock. i leaned down to lick it off and then sat down and started fucking myself. it didn't take me long to cum. i was sitting on his cock, my own jutting out in front of me, and the scene was so hot i started cumming without touching myself. fortunately or un, that was it for my getting fucked by him. i slowly slid off and he did not get inside me again. he had me lie on my stomach and then was humping my ass. i know he was trying to get in my ass to shoot but i just wasn't up for it after i came. i felt bad, feeling like a bit of a tease, but not bad enough evidently.
afterwards i had to stop to get something to eat. still feeling the effects of the tina i felt i should not have a beer. i had one anyway. just one and i felt really fucked up. i didn't have another though. as i was making my way to the east side club i considered another but felt i was more than impaired enough to have a good time, and as i have said i don't really need to be impaired at all. the choice of the east side club can not be said to be random. i had the thought, a hope perhaps, that i would again meet someone who wanted to party. much as i knew what a terrible idea this would be it was a strong lure.
i had fun at the club; hardly used my poppers or anyone else's for that matter much less anything harder. got fucked and fucked a bit. met a really nice guy. being with him was the first time in a long time that i felt that i was with someone who cared about me. i cried a bit, though i really did try not to. i don't know why i cried: maybe because i missed that feeling of someone caring, maybe because i felt i didn't deserve this fine treatment, maybe because i was still a little fucked up, maybe because i am a sad guy in general and it doesn't take much to get me to cry, maybe because i felt that nice as this guy was i would be turning my back on this fine treatment and heading back to those who only want to shoot a load up my ass and get me fucked up. who knows? whatever the reason for my tears, i know that i am terrible at friends and relationships so, i sign off as i so often do, we will see what happens.
luckily or un, i have the day off. a friend im'd me about bringing my scrumptious ass over to be fucked because it had been a while. i said i would get ready. this after i told myself this morning how at least this not 100 % feeling would keep me from getting into trouble this week, or at least today. already the idea has crept in that i should take my member cards to the studio and east/west side clubs, just in case. these three words are trouble for me, about the same as the phrase 'just to see what's going on' is. i am warning myself to not do anything stupid and telling myself to stay within my limits (already shot to hell because i'm going out to get fucked today), but we will see what happens.
time passes
well, i did bring my poppers and my sex club memberships, i did go get my scrumptious ass fucked (bare by my poz friend) and i did end up going back to the east side club.
i got to my friends place and we started making out. he asked if i wanted to use a condom and i said no. he was fucking me and said he told me i was going to make him cum, i asked him not yet. then he lay on his back and had me ride him, as i went to sit down i saw some cum leaking from his cock. i leaned down to lick it off and then sat down and started fucking myself. it didn't take me long to cum. i was sitting on his cock, my own jutting out in front of me, and the scene was so hot i started cumming without touching myself. fortunately or un, that was it for my getting fucked by him. i slowly slid off and he did not get inside me again. he had me lie on my stomach and then was humping my ass. i know he was trying to get in my ass to shoot but i just wasn't up for it after i came. i felt bad, feeling like a bit of a tease, but not bad enough evidently.
afterwards i had to stop to get something to eat. still feeling the effects of the tina i felt i should not have a beer. i had one anyway. just one and i felt really fucked up. i didn't have another though. as i was making my way to the east side club i considered another but felt i was more than impaired enough to have a good time, and as i have said i don't really need to be impaired at all. the choice of the east side club can not be said to be random. i had the thought, a hope perhaps, that i would again meet someone who wanted to party. much as i knew what a terrible idea this would be it was a strong lure.
i had fun at the club; hardly used my poppers or anyone else's for that matter much less anything harder. got fucked and fucked a bit. met a really nice guy. being with him was the first time in a long time that i felt that i was with someone who cared about me. i cried a bit, though i really did try not to. i don't know why i cried: maybe because i missed that feeling of someone caring, maybe because i felt i didn't deserve this fine treatment, maybe because i was still a little fucked up, maybe because i am a sad guy in general and it doesn't take much to get me to cry, maybe because i felt that nice as this guy was i would be turning my back on this fine treatment and heading back to those who only want to shoot a load up my ass and get me fucked up. who knows? whatever the reason for my tears, i know that i am terrible at friends and relationships so, i sign off as i so often do, we will see what happens.
posted by cosmaz at 6:49 AM
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