eyes on the prize

i had my operation this past monday and am now on the road to recovery. the pain that followed the operation has subsided for the most part, but i imagine my ass will be out of commission for a while (sigh). this is not how imagined the month after my poz diagnosis would be spent, but what can you do? hopefully i will heal up quickly; i'm soaking in the bath at least twice a day and doing my sphincter exercises.

every time i take a crap, no matter how soft and easy it comes out (thanks to a wonderful formula of fiber mixing equal parts of smooth texture and course milled texture that keeps me regular and soft), immediately afterwards i get the sensation of the aftermath of having my hole violated more quickly than it would like. you know that feeling of pain that comes when someone puts their cock up your ass too fast or when you are not quite ready? usually when that happens i ask them to just stop a minute and not move so my ass can adjust, but as there is no one here (another heartfelt sigh) to mention that to so i just jump in the shower and let the hot water run down my ass and that helps quite a bit.

this taste of the discomfort of being fucked without the pleasure does at least keep me thinking sexually and that is a good thing. to the same end i jerked off the day after the operation, which, while somewhat painful was something i felt i deserved (the nice part of jerking off not the pain) and it kept my mind on the prize.