are second thoughts or doubts allowed?

i do wonder why i take the risks i do, but ultimately i take them regardless of the knowledge of the possibility of disaster they may bring. sometimes i have second thoughts or doubts about my risky sex. as lame as it sounds i worry that these people who know me very little will not care for me much anymore, not necessarily disasterous, but it could be. I did have my obligatory two beers before writing this. tonight i am planning on going to the upperwestside party to meet a poz friend who will be there. who knows what trouble i will get into? not i.